To My Rapist

A victim impact statement is a written or oral statement made by a crime victim at a sentencing hearing to explain to the court the impact the crime had on the victim. Victim impact statements are often directed at the perpetrator of the crime as a means for the survivor to tell the perpetrator the effects of the crime. The court considers the impact statement, among many other factors, when determining how to sentence the individual convinced of the crime.

The following victim impact statement was written by a survivor during court proceedings of a sexual assault trial in Midcoast Maine. The statement was never read because the man accused was found ?not guilty? by a jury of his peers. The survivor agreed to share her statement in hopes of educating others about the effects of sexual violence.

To my rapist, there are a few things I would like you to know:

First of all, what you did to me was wrong. It makes me sick to know that you were trying to say this was consensual. Were you deaf to the fact that I repeatedly said ?NO? and ?get off me?? That was rape, plain and simple no two ways about it and you know it was wrong because you confessed on videotape. You even broke down crying and wishing you could apologize to me. Well, it?s too late for that.

You have hurt me more than you can imagine, physically, mentally, and emotionally. For the past 14 months I have had to live with what you have done to me. I have missed many days of school because of you. But I will still graduate on time, and I am going to be a wonderful nurse who cares for people and saves lives, as for you, you will know what you did for the rest of your life. It will haunt you everywhere you go. It will impact everything you do. I hope that it hurts your military career in horrible ways. I want to warn all the women in the work to stay away from you. You might rape them too and say it was consensual. Maybe they won?t be able to come forward and say what you did to them, but I can and I did.

I am not scared of you; I want the world to know what you did to me, and how horrible of a person you are. I want the world to know that you drank so much you peed your pants and someone had to tell you to go change. I want you and your family to know that you are a rapist, whether or not you are convicted, you and I both know what you really are.

What I really want is for you to go to jail for years. That is where you belong. I hope that someday you get raped and when they do it to you and you tell them to stop, they just laugh and tell you that you will like it! Then you can sit here in my position and listen to your rapist say it was consensual.

Did this make you feel like you had power over me? Well it might have when you raped me, but not anymore. As I stated before, you have hurt me in ways unimaginable, but I will move on.

I am a survivor and a fighter and I won?t let you drag me down with you. I graduate in May with a Bachelor?s degree in Nursing. I will care for people both sick and well. I will be proud of me just as I am proud that I had the courage to tell everyone that you are a rapist. I will be an outstanding nurse, and succeed in everything I do.

I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished in spite of what you have done to me. Remember when you were raping me and told me to be quiet, is this quiet enough for you? I don?t see you laughing anymore.



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